Earmarks: The Good, The Bad, And The Ugly

In a city that can make money seem boring (it’s called Appropriations – asleep yet?), earmarks seem to be the one cash cow in Washington DC that is too sacred to kill. Despite widespread public revulsion against the practice of individual members of Congress giving piles of cash to whomever they damn well please, the Senate recently killed a measure that would have established a one-year moratorium on earmarks.

Earmarks are a great way to buy friends and increase campaign contributions. If a presidential candidate receives contributions from 64% of the companies she gets earmarks for, that's a sign that some healthy “win-win” relationships are being established. Lobbyists are usually the ones who set up the connections between private companies and members of Congress. Most lobbyists aren’t stupid or crazy enough to tell an elected official “Give these folks a $70 million earmark and they’ll cut you a nice check for your next election campaign,” but people who do this for a living understand how the system works. Giving money to a senator and then having the senator earmark money that benefits your company is part of the essential process of “establishing a relationship.”

After the lobbyist in my book – the incomparable Hugo Masterson – meets with a senator and is assured that a $230 million earmark will be heading his client’s way, the client says that “it seems like all you have to do is ask for the earmark.” Masterson’s reply succinctly explains the situation: “Once you have the relationship we do, yes, you can skip the bullshit and save everyone’s time. It’s all about establishing relationships so they trust you to do the right thing. When you’ve got that bond cemented, you just mention what would help your client. They know that you’re not just making conversation. They also know that the check’s in the mail. It’s gratitude for their assistance, and not a quid pro quo. It shows that you’re giving because you support what they’re doing, which counts as free speech, and is as American as apple pie.”